We're either trying to punch each other in the face or frame Mole's confusion.
Either way, Gia sucks at keeping a straight face.
During yet another drunken haze at Catherine Rooney's, my evil friend Gia proposed that we start playing racquetball for money. Gia and I had played several times before, and although our games were usually ridiculously close, he usually got the better of me. I'd say he won at least 60-70% of the time. But after a few weeks of things starting to go my way, the outcome of our games had finally become a coinflip. In light of this, and the fact that we're competitive idiots, we agreed to finally up the stakes and find out who was indeed, "The Champ" (see above photo for non-existent promo). In the end, we decided that the loser of a 9-game set would have to pay for the other's YMCA membership for one month. That's exactly 44 big ones. I'm normally not a gambling man, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to have an end-all, battle royale with cheese, with bragging rights on the side.
Before you hear the outcome of said event, you may not think racquetball is "cool." In fact, you may think racquetball is for fags. If that's the case, I can assure you that you've never actually played racquetball. It's not a tough sport by any means, but it requires more athletic ability than you think, some strategery, and a rotator cuff willing to blast little blue balls at speeds of 100+ mph. At least, if you want to be any good that is. To those of you who haven't played, try and picture playing tennis in your family room. You can play any wall, including the ceiling and the wall behind you (you know, the one with that horrible picture of you during your "awkward" phase), and volleys can last anywhere between 2 seconds and 2 minutes. The rules are simple. To continue a volley, you have to return the ball before it bounces twice, while also forcing it to hit the front wall in the air (regardless of how it gets there). Serving is also pretty easy, but if you're really interested in the nitty-gritty of how to play, Google it.
Now that that's settled, Gia and I set off to play our deathmatch in the official, "gambling on these premises is definitely a good idea," glass courts. These are the nice courts that the kill-shot blasting old dudes and the "I'm nationally ranked" guys play on. They're well-lit, lack any kind of crazy surface for your ball to do something retarded off of (like a door-hinge, or a bad ceiling tile), and the floors are actually wiped down on a regular basis. They're pristine.
When all was said and done, we probably played 6 out of the 9 games on them. And yes, we required all 9 games to decide a winner.
Who won?
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This guy.
Update:
Gia and I agreed to play another best-of-9, $44 playoff sometime in March. On March 21st, Gia completed his quest to win his money back. He won 5-4, with an 11-9 victory in the final game.
He still sucks giant wang.
Proof.
Overall game stats as of November 2, 2006:
Brett 27 - Gia 18
Winning percentage = 60%
Doubles Matches:
Brett + Gia vs. The World
2 - 0
Winning percentage = 100%
We're awesome.
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